I'm Darian Slayton Fleming and thank you for joining me on get what you need and feel good about it. Do you find it difficult to ask for what you need? Do you frequently feel misunderstood? Do you have a problem or cause that you would like to learn to manage more effectively? What makes it so hard for us to tell each other how we feel and how do we speak up for ourselves so we get what we need and feel good about it? How do we do this? Respectfully, so that we honor the needs and feelings of others. Together, we'll explore tips, strategies and resources that, when used mindfully and consistently, will improve our results and enrich our relationship. Hello and welcome back.

To get what you need and feel good about it, I'm Darian Fleet and Fleming, your host. This is episode eleven entitled make the Impossible Possible. Today I am interviewing artist basin and information about her is in the show notes, so be sure to check the show notes. Welcome, artist. Thank you for joining us.

Thank you for inviting me.

Well, I have known you for a very long time. I'm curious. Tell us a little bit about yourself and whether you are living your dream or passion or you are still pursuing it.

I have been doing my current business, which is Bayes and communications, for nearly 25 years, and I think I'm living my dream. Obviously, there's always things I want to still pursue. I'm in the process of writing my fifth book and the title of that is going to be I can do it. And that is my dream, to have that be a bestseller. I already do speak for a lot of different states. I've been speaking in 43 different states in the United States. I've not spoken overseas, but I've visited lots of countries overseas, but I haven't really looked for efforts there. So I guess that would be interesting to be invited there at some point. But I really feel I'm living my dream. I enjoy what I do. I do speaking. I do business coaching and also consulting as well as writing. And I do enjoy writing a lot. And I do edit a couple of newsletters, which I enjoy doing. So I think I'm pretty much living the dream.

How would you describe your dream that you're living? You told us a lot about what you're doing, but how does it resonate with you? How does it make you continue to feel passionate?

I started after I lost my sight as a Randolph shepherd vendor. And for those that are not aware of that program, it allows blind people to manage food service facilities, mostly in federal and state buildings. And I really enjoyed that career, especially the managing side. And while I was doing that, I had to train several different blind people into how to do it in the program. And in that process of training, I found I really enjoyed that aspect, helping people to become better. And that's why when I moved from Iowa to California, I really didn't want to have to start over in the beginning in the Rondolph shepherd program. So I decided to start my current business. While I had been in the program, I had gotten two ba's and my master's in arts and teaching. And I really found this niche of training and speaking to groups to be of more interest to me. And that's why I think I found this to be more of a dream for me. I do enjoy helping people in lots of different ways, and I enjoy whether it's writing, speaking, or coaching, I do enjoy helping people. And that's why my business has kind of developed over the years to do multiple things for multiple people, because I enjoy doing lots of different things, anywhere from coordinating conferences and events to just sitting down and writing. So that's kind of been my dream, just to kind of do what I enjoy.

Tell us about a highlight of what you're doing and an especially poignant or moving experience for you that keeps you doing this.

A highlight of any of my projects is when people tell me that it's been so great and it's benefited them so much. I get this mostly when I'm speaking, although I did get it after the last sagebrush conference. I got several notes of people saying, oh, hey, we really appreciate what you're doing with the vendors, and we really appreciate all of you who work so hard on that project. And I really like that sense of getting to know how people feel about it because I don't really know if people are benefiting when I speak to them or not unless they tell me. I know. The last time I spoke was in South Carolina, and afterwards several people came up and said, oh, wow, that was motivating. It made me want to try harder to look for new ways that I can help myself. And that's what keeps me inspired, is people's comments, even if it's a suggestion or, well, you could do this better, or you could do that, or why not try that? I do appreciate that as well because that keeps me motivated and that keeps me wanting to try harder and to try new things.

And just to enlighten our listeners, tell us what sagebrush is.

It's the Randolph Shepherd Vendors of America Sagebrush National BEP Training Conference. And BEP stands for Business Enterprise program training conference. And it's a conference where it allows managers and vendors in the states and staff of the BEP program to hear multiple sessions about business related items, items for entrepreneurs, or some specifically for the Rendolf shepherd program. And there's also exhibitors and sponsors there of blindness related products, some for the food service management and some that are just blindness only projects. And if people want to learn more about that, they could go to the randolphsephard.org website where the announcements are published. And I'll be putting the whole program booklet on there, too. So if they want to read more about that, they can do it.

Well, you've been doing this for almost 25 years, your various projects, and pursuing your interests. How do you stay the course? How do you stay determined to keep moving forward?

I think the best motivator for me is knowing that I'm helping people. When I get requests to speak or request to coach, and people are telling me that it's helped them to pursue their dreams, then it keeps me motivated to keep moving forward. Also, I just like being a busy person. I'm not one that just likes to sit around. I mean, I will watch tv for a couple of hours in the evening with my husband just because he enjoys it. But if I was here alone, I'd probably be on my computer, because I really do enjoy just keeping busy.

How do you overcome barriers to your pursuits? What are some of the obstacles you incur, and how do you overcome them?

The biggest obstacle is technology issues. For example, right before I went to the conference, all of a sudden, my braille printer was acting up, and I had to play with it and try to get it to working, and it would work for a while, and then it would quit again, and then it would work for a while, and at the same time, my brill sense, notetaker, brill sense six wasn't working correctly, and I'd have to reboot it and try it again, and then it would work for a little while, and then it would quit for a while. And that's kind of the biggest challenge I ended up for the conference. I ended up printing everything out in large print so that someone there could assist me if I needed it, because I was the person who gave the different CE codes for the sessions and the door prizes and so forth. And so I needed a hard copy in case my notetaker was disagreeing with me at the moment. And that is the biggest challenge for me, is the technology. I do have a computer tech guy who I call out if I have computer issues and he helps me with any of that, that happens. But now I'm going to have to call him and find out what to do with my notetaker. So I think that is my primary challenge. Of course, not being able to read documents, that sometimes is a challenge. But my husband is now retired, so he helps me with some of that, unless it's really small print. But even then he can a lot of times blow it up and magnify it to be able to read things for me.

How would you advise our listeners to proceed when they encounter barriers to what they want to do?

The best advice is to keep trying. They always say that failure isn't really failure. You've just found one more thing that doesn't work, and I always keep that in mind. When I'm discouraged and things aren't going well, then I try to find a way to get out of it. Whether it's calling another blind person that I know has that device and I can ask them, or if it's just simply talking to a friend. A lot of blind people can really help one another. I signed up for bits, the blind information technology group a couple of years ago, and I have found that to be really helpful because you can ask a question of the members of that group, and generally there's always someone that can answer your technology question.

Just for transparency. Bits or blind information technology specialist is a special interest affiliate of the American Council of the Blind, and their website is acb.org and that's actually how artisan I met. And they have special interest affiliates for just about any interest you might have. And by joining them, you are also a member of the American Council of the Blind. So do check that out if you're interested artists. What you're talking about then, is a big part of overcoming barriers and stay in the course is asking for help when we need it. For some of us that are new to disability or new to a chronic health condition, we're not used to asking for help. How do you do that, and how would you help people who are new to that idea reframe their thoughts around asking for help?

That's a very good question. I know I always hate to ask for help. I think I can do anything I want to do, so I tend not to ask for help unless I'm desperate. All of a sudden, I just can't do it. So, okay, I'll have to ask for help. And that's been probably a downside to me because I don't like asking for help, but I have found through the years that how are you going to move forward if you don't ask for help? And another way to frame it is maybe have a list of people that you know who could help you in certain aspects. Like I learned about bits and I have that on my list of, okay, go to people I have friends I know that have like braille sense six that I might want to ask them, well, hey, what have you done in this situation? Or there are various lists of blind people. Like independent visually impaired entrepreneurs is another group that if I have a question related to entrepreneurship, I can put it on that email list. And there's lots of different email lists on different topics and I can post a question on those. And that's probably the easiest way because sometimes you don't know if a person is going to be home, and it's not always easy to find people at home. You'll get a voicemail and that could take longer. So posting on a list, you might get information back quicker than by trying to call several people, unless you know the company. Like with my Burlsen six, I know I can call him support and ask them for advice. So I try to keep a list of those on hand so that I can call more easily. But asking for help, I think sometimes we feel diminished if we have to ask someone else, but I think we have to remember that most people we ask for help actually enjoy helping other people.

That's a great point. And as you were speaking, I was thinking about an alternative benefit for asking for help. And while we're always wanting to pursue our own dreams and do the best we can and share our knowledge and all of that, one of the benefits of asking for help that I have found is that I'm able to educate another, in my case, sighted or nondisabled person, about my abilities and the challenges that I face and what is helpful. And it often opens doors and minds.

To.

Opening opportunities that the people that we're talking to didn't know were possible, and then they become our allies.

What do you think? I totally agree there because I know I'm always looking for a new reader or driver because shopping is sometimes challenging, even with my husband, who has low vision, finding things or looking for things because people tend to point, well, it's over there, go to the back wall, blah, blah, blah, and you still have trouble finding it. So I always like to have a reader or driver available times. And that's one of the things I've missed since we moved to Colorado four months ago is just finding new people that you know you can count on, because we had a couple of folks we used regularly when we lived in Burbank, California, and it's helpful to have those people available.

What are you doing now that is making meaning in your life? And what parting words do you have for our listeners about how they can pursue their passion or dream?

I like to get involved in lots of stuff. I'm part of several organizations, mostly blindness related or in my church, and one of the things that I find motivating is being part of several networking groups because that helps me learn more. Plus I'm able to help share what I know with others. And like Darian has stated, it's your way of being able to educate more people about the positives that a disabled person can bring to the group and also tell them about all the things that you can do instead of all the things you cannot do, which I think is very important. So a good thing for you to remember is that you are also a motivational person to almost anyone you meet. Because even if you don't feel like you can do much at this point, if you're newly blinded just for them, seeing that you're moving forward and trying to do better is great. So belonging to different groups and just staying out there and be remaining active helps you keep motivated, but it also motivates other people around you.

So whether you have a vision impairment, another disability, or multiple disabilities, or you're facing a chronic health condition, or you're new to a life change of any kind, it sounds like some of the helpful tips are being determined. Asking for help, networking, and doing your research, because there are usually people who have gone before us that have figured some of this stuff out.

And in closing, I want to remind us all that artist mentioned that if she has trouble doing something, she tries again. She looks for another way to do something.

I wanted to share this interesting fact.

With you about Thomas Edison. His teacher said he was too stupid to learn anything. He was fired from his first two jobs for being non productive. Edison was dyslexic as a young man. He lost all of the hearing in his left ear. Later in life, he lost 80% of his hearing in his right ear as well. He did not let these things stop him from doing great things with his mind. Thomas Edison made 1000 attempts before successfully inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked him how it felt to fail 1000 times, he answered, I didn't fail 1000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1000 steps.

Just to underscore things that artist has told me about pursuing our dreams. Her philosophy is make the impossible possible. So we wish that for you and thank you for joining me. Artists and all of you look for the show notes and another episode of get what you need and feel good about it in March. Take care.

Thank you.

Darian the only way to do this is we're holding.

Thank you for joining me today on get what you need and feel good about it. Remember, when you speak up for yourself assertively, you will get what you need and feel good about it. You will also be showing respect for yourself and for the other people in your life who are important to you. Until next time, try thinking about it like Stephanie Lahart says it they would you mean mean what you say, but.

Don'T say it mean before it gets too late. And the only way to do this is with hope, not it. Yes, the only way to do this is with hope, not hate. Close.