Foreign I'm Darian Slayton Fleming and thank you for joining me on get what you need and feel good about it. Do you find it difficult to ask for what you need? Do you frequently feel misunderstood? Do you have a problem or cause that you would like to learn to manage more effectively? What makes it so hard for us to tell each other how we feel and how do we speak up for ourselves so we get what we need and feel good about it? How do we do this respectfully so that we honor the needs and feelings of others? Together, we'll explore tips, strategies, and resources that, when used mindfully and consistently, will improve our results and enrich our relationships.

Hello and welcome back to GET what YOU need and feel good about it. I'm really excited today to talk a little bit about astrology and metaphysics and things that really are part of our inner psyche that can help us get in touch with ourselves and maybe have a deeper understanding of our internal selves as we go about trying to negotiate what we need and feel good about it.

There you go.

Yeah. Today I am joined by Sarah Wago. She is from Springfield, Illinois. I found out today that we have some connections in common and she was referred to me by Abigail Gasta, who I interviewed about codependence a few episodes ago. Welcome, Sarah. It's so good to have you with us.

Thank you so much for having me, Darian. I really appreciate it.

Looking forward to this interview. Sarah is an astrologer, a personal development coach, and a mentor. She focuses on self acceptance, breaking up with victimhood, and wellness. I don't think you're breaking up with wellness.

Hopefully we're getting in a relationship with wellness.

Right. She got into astrology after years of personal development, leaving her with more questions about herself. Now Sarah implements astrology with personal development coaching with her clients to help them accept the parts of themselves grow into the people they want to be in the world. In her spare time, I should say, when she's not in her work mode, Sarah enjoys reading, crocheting, good food, coffee and tea. We have a lot in common. Sarah, I'm just so intrigued by the fact that you have learned about astrology and are able to use it because I know you're low vision.

Yep.

And I've always thought that that is something I couldn't really get too deeply into because I didn't know if I could do the charting and things like that. So tell us a little bit more about yourself, maybe expand on your bio, a little background.

Like I got into personal development first. I Have a background in education, both in early intervention birth of three and in adult blindness rehab. And I got into personal development because I was miserable at my job and this was like 16 something years ago. And got into personal development just looking for like feeling better at my own life because I was just not happy and so dissatisfied. And so I stuck with personal development in various capacities and you know, as a means of like, I know I can feel better, I just don't know how to feel better. Really. A solid 10 years worth of work with personal development coaches, with psychotherapists. And then I got kind of got to a point where I felt like I was stuck even though I was working with coaches and had become a coach and all of the things and somebody had suggested like track the, the lunate, the moon cycles, track where the moon's at. And at this point I knew nothing. I barely knew that Aquarius was an air sign, let alone like that there were 11 other signs and that those affected me. I started tracking just like the new and the full moon and I would notice like headaches, I would notice, you know, body symptoms and whatnot when the moon was full or when the moon was new moon. And so I hired a coach who was also an astrologer and really started to learn myself from an astrological perspective. So learning my son is an Aquarius, of course, but I have a moon in Scorpio and a rising sign in Scorpio. And what did that actually mean about me and how did it all affect me? And really, once I started to dig into the moon cycles with my personal astrology, that's when it started to be a game changer. I did not get into astrology thinking I was going to become an astrologer, but I got so excited about it, had so much fun studying. I would, you know, purchase lectures from elder astrologers. And for somebody who used to fall asleep in every single history class I've ever taken from high school to college, somebody listening to this is laughing because they know exactly what I'm talking about. I would sit through five hour astrology history lectures completely glued to my screen and totally fascinated by astrology. So it really just became this thing that like, I loved what it was doing for me that I wanted to offer that to other people because I'm like, oh my God, you know, like we could all understand ourselves so much better if we understood how our astrology works with the current astrology. And I just delve in from there. And then it, you know, became like, did you know there's a wellness and a medical astrology. And I was like, no, but I want to learn those too. So now it's kind of a. I'm in it. I'm in it. This is, you know, it's been six years now, and I think I'm in it for life at this point. So that's kind of how it all started to bridge together, is that now I use astrology with what I know from personal development training to, you know, wellness and. And body and how the body works. And so it all kind of just became a thing. And here we are.

So really, we are whole people, we are whole systems. Our bodies are systems within systems. And I'm curious if you're comfortable sharing what is something you learned about yourself that helped you to integrate all of those parts for you? And how would this benefit someone else if they thought, this is really cool? I want to work with Sarah and learn more about myself.

I mean, I learned so much. We can go back to. I used to be in a very dark depression and I could, like, I was paralyzed by my own brain, right? Like, I could physically get out of bed or get off my couch, but I mentally could not bring myself to do anything, right? I could barely, like, take care of my needs, let alone, like, clean my house or function. I. I feel like once I really accepted. See, this is where we're going to get into the acceptance, acceptance part. Once I accepted what I needed, which is sunlight, being outside, being active, good nutritious food, good tea, good coffee, all of the things, right? There's a re. You know, it's like, I. There's a reason. There's kind of a method to all of my what. What you would maybe call madness, right? There's a method. There's a reason for it. I eat good quality food because I need good quality food in order to feel good in my own body, right? I've cut out a lot of things that I know my body doesn't like. Did the moon cycles help that? It helped me understand. I want to word this in a way that makes sense to people, but it helped me understand that sometimes I'm going to be extra emotionally sensitive or I'm going to be extra mentally overstimulated. And that could have everything to do with where the Moon is, where Mercury is, like all the planets and how they affect us is very individualized, for one. But accepting that that's just part of the cycles that we all move through, that I was moving through really helped me understand that sometimes I need to go slower I need to do my stretching more than I need to weightlift. I need to eat these types of foods versus eating those types of foods. And sometimes I can completely indulge in, you know, sugary sweets and it's fine. Other times I have to avoid that because it just isn't. You know what I'm saying? Like, the alignment with the different cycles and then just honoring and respecting that, that's what my body needs in order to be at its best.

So I'm very captivated with our title and referring to the. The dark, the good and the fun. And I always like to start with the. The not so pleasant part so that I can end an episode on happy things. And so the dark. I agree that we all have many parts of us that make us who we are.

Yeah.

And we often seem to struggle with wanting to mask or hide those dark parts of us or. Or change them.

Yeah.

Rather than learning how we can reconcile with those parts of us and make a choice to become integrated one with those parts, accept those parts of us. How do you help people make peace with these parts of themselves?

Great question. And so there's a couple of. Couple of ways of looking at that is. I feel like in. It's. A lot of. A lot of it has to do with conditioning. Right. We're. We're very conditioned that the dark parts of ourselves must be shamed, must be silenced, must be hidden, as opposed to, like, respecting the fact that some of us take pleasure in having a dark side. You know, we take pleasure in it. There's something fun about it. There's something mischievous about it. There's something rebellious about the dark parts of ourselves. But we don't. We don't, as a society, we don't tend to look at that part. We just, you know, oh, you know, so and so did something bad. So and so, you know, shame on you. But, like, what if we looked at it as, like, I take pleasure in that. That's fun.

Right.

I didn't get in trouble. I didn't get arrested. I. It was fun. Right?

Yeah.

Right. Like, and I'm gonna. I'm a grown person. Like, Right. I'm in my late 40s. So, like, you know, I look at things completely differently now than I maybe did in my 20s, but. But I, I, you know, nobody has to know that I'm interested in that thing, whatever that thing is, to find that for yourself. And again, as long as you're not, you know, get in trouble getting arrested. Like, we're all adults now, so we don't have to, you know, so I think. But there's also this pleasure about embracing that part of ourselves. So that's part of it. And the other part is accepting the fact that the people who kind of, you know, maybe frown upon it or poo. Poo upon it, first of all, they don't have to know, number one. Number two, that's on them. Because you're, you're, you're, if you are doing, you know, participating in something dark, you know, mischievous dark, not illegal dark or immoral dark, but like you're participating in that or you're, you're, you're entertained by that. Like nobody has to know, number one. And number two, if they do know and they're like, shame on you, you shouldn't do that. That's really their opinion, which is not any of my business what someone else's opinion is. And then there's the addressing the inner shame. This is kind of the other part of the conversation. Like there's the conditioning part and then there's the shame part. Are you familiar with the, the hertz H E R T Z hertz scale of emotions?

I am not. Tell us about that.

Okay, so there's the lower. So hertz is like the measure of frequency, right? There's the lower frequency or the lower hurts, emotions, which is like guilt, shame, those sorts of things, right? And many of us are in that area, right? We feel guilty if we're not, you know, doing what we feel obligated to do. We feel shameful because we did this thing. All of the, you know, and then you kind of move up into, in up the frequencies, into contentment, into joy, into. And I can't remember, I'm going off the top of my head here, you know, and that's kind of the middle of the, the scale. And then you get into the higher frequencies, which is more like enlightenment and things like that. And so when we stay in that, you know, if we think about like vibration and frequency, you know, when you talk about raising your frequency, right? In metaphysics, you're talking about raising your emotional frequency. Now when you talk about emotions, you can't have light without dark, right? So you can't feel joy if you've never experienced sadness. You can't feel anticipation if you've never experienced anxiety, you know, anger through what? I can't remember. The opposite of anger. But do you get what I'm saying? Like, right, there's a light emotion on the higher end of the frequency scale and there's a dark end of the scale. So you have to experience them all, right? I get angry, I get sad, I get shameful. And then I move through the shame that I feel or the sadness that I feel to come back to being joyful or content with myself, knowing that I'm human and I'm meant to experience all of these emotions. There's a pleasure if you're familiar with the chakras, like the sacral chakra, like that's, you know, the reproductive area, region of the physical body and, and therefore like the sexual organs and whatnot. But it's also our pleasure center. So we kind of have to feel into that. And what you're talking about is just that, like, people need to experience, like you said, sensual, you know, touch and, and, and pleasure seeking behaviors. And I think that feel us kind of neglect that because like you said, we're all so serious, we're supposed to be adults. But one of my friends who has a gymnastics coach has often said we don't grow, we don't get old and stop playing. We stop playing and therefore we kind of get old. And that's something that quote. But you know, that that's sort of the, the perspective there is. Like, it's because we stop playing, we stop being silly, we stop having fun because now we have to be adults, we have to be serious. But like, why can't we still be silly and goofy and play and skydive and whatever. And two also, you know, you said like the risk taking of, you know, marrying a police officer or in the same thing, like firefighter, paramedic. I think there's something about the spouse of that person that realizes or acknowledges that that person doing that job, whatever job that is, is doing the thing that brings them joy and fills their heart, knowing that they're doing something of public service and, and that they're, you know, something happens to them, heaven forbid, while they're on the job. Like, they did it, they were doing their job and they were doing the purpose that they were here and meant to do. And we kind of neglect that in our outside looking in perspective. Like, oh, it's so sad that, you know, that spouse had to go through that. But that spouse sees it as my spouse, you know, was injured or passed away doing the thing that brought them joy.

Exactly.

So yes, there is a level of accepting that the thing that brings you joy is possibly the thing that's a, the most risky, but also the thing that like, brings the most concern to your loved ones. I mean, think about any entrepreneur. You know, like most entrepreneurs are Risk takers. Most of us probably did work a 9 to 5 and that was tearing us apart. And then we get into our entrepreneurship and maybe it was the biggest risk of our life, investment wise or emotionally or mentally. But like, we're doing the thing that we literally have to do because it brings us that much pleasure, that much joy, knowing that what we're doing is making a difference for other people, knowing that what we're doing is providing a solution for others, whether that's a physical product, coaching or otherwise.

Right, so how would you suggest that people get more in touch with their fun, playful side?

Play color, get artsy, get silly? Like, because, like, I can't say and you can't say what that is for other people. I can say what that is for me. I speak astrology. That brings me so much joy. I get so much joy out of it. But I also love yarn and I love tea and I love coffee. And I'm not, you know, I do loose leaf tea. I do, you know, really good quality coffee at a French press. Like, people, you know, I don't have time to do a French press. I'm going to do a K cup. That's completely fine. But for me, what brings me joy is the method of making my coffee the way I make it or making my tea the way that I make it. You know, so it's, it's, it's something that you have to. Because I used to drink tea bag tea, like years and years and years ago, and I'm like, why don't I like this? I like the idea of tea and all of the tea leaves and the herbs and the whatnot. Why don't I like this? And then, then I got into loose leaf tea and I'm like, oh, I didn't like it because this is better, right? So it's kind of like you have to feel it out for yourself. Like, what is that thing that brings you pleasure, that brings you joy? And be okay with the fact that people are probably gonna think you're weird and crazy. That's okay. It's totally okay.

I think something else we're talking about is really getting in touch with those parts of ourselves and not only understanding it from an intellectual level because most of us are in our heads so much of the time and, and we get kind of stuck on in our thought loops and we think, if only I didn't feel this way. Well, we feel this way because it's, it starts with our thoughts and, and when we get in touch with our bodies and realize what those thoughts, how those thoughts are showing up in our bodies and getting our body and minds online together. What else might you advise people to do to get more in touch with their bodies and the metaphysical and the physical to help themselves integrate and feel whole.

Love that. So I was, I was like lighting up over here because yes, we all get stuck in our heads and then those thoughts become like self sabotaging. Like, well, you know, my family said this and, and, and they don't believe this and da, da, da, da. And that gets stuck in our head on a broken record. And then, you know, all of a sudden we're sabotaging any kind of pleasure versus like, you know, you have this idea. And I can, I can speak to this from, from writing a book perspective because that's what I'm currently actively doing. You know, I had that book in my head for like 12 years and until I. And this gets into metaphysics as far as like chakras. So if you're familiar with the chakra system, the crown chakra is the top of the head, and then we have the third eye, and then we have the throat chakra, and then we have the heart chakra, and then the lower three chakras, the solar plexus, the sacral and the root chakra, are the three that most of us don't really work with as much because we like to play in the crown and the third eye, which is where we have all of our fun ideas and our fun thoughts and everything. And then, you know, we don't bring it through the heart, which is the heart center. We have to feel it with our heart. And then the solar plexus, which brings that, you know, I have to do this right When I knew I wanted to write the book, which again was like, you know, 12, 13 years ago at this point I knew I wanted to write the book, but I didn't feel like I had any authority. Solar plexus, to write a book. Like, I didn't, you know, I didn't have 20 years of experience in personal development at the time. I didn't have the astrology, I didn't have, you know, I didn't have all these things. And I couldn't write a book about, you know, personal development, self acceptance, victimhood, all these things. And here we are like 13 years later and you know, my. But processing things through your body. Your heart has to feel it. And then once your heart feels it, it sends a message down to your solar plexus and you start to digest that idea. And then you start to get into your pleasure center, your creative center, your sacral, and you start to get turned on by it. Right? It creates this like sensualness about like, I have to write the book, I really have to do that thing. And then the root is when you hire a writing coach and the writing coach helps you, you know, timeline it out so you can actually submit it for editing and subsequently publishing it. So there's this whole process, but like most of us, and I've been working with a lot of clients on this lately, so this is a very perfect timing example. Most of us are in our upper body and not moving things through the solar plexus, the sacral and the root to actually bring that pleasure, that fun, that joy into, you know, something tangible, which is the root, chakra, the security, the, the money, the safety, the. This is a physical thing in the physical world.

So I want our listeners to know that your information is going to be in the show notes. So if you want to contact Sarah for some personal coaching, you can find out about that through the show notes. As we close, do you have any parting words or tidbits that we may not have touched on that you'd like to share?

I am going to give you my favorite quote. This is my quote. I mean, if it's written somewhere else, I don't know, I, I created it when I created my business model. And it's a great reminder to all of us, you are here in this time and in this space for a unique purpose. And I love that quote. It's such a reminder that we're here in this present. As crazy and chaotic as the world is that we live in, we're here for it and we're here for it for a unique purpose. I just hope that like folks that were able to get something from this that was supportive that did kind of give them an aha. All of my other links are within my newsletters, so. So that's why I give out the newsletter link. If you sign up for that, then you kind of get access to everything else. But in. If you're in the moment looking at your phone and you want to head over to YouTube, you can find Astro coach Sarah S A R a. That's my YouTube channel and I do publish videos on there weekly and they kind of go back and forth between astrology and some sort of coaching is topic or metaphysical topic. So if people want to do that in the moment.

Thank you so much for joining us today, Sarah. I'm looking forward to a couple more interviews with you because I really resonate with the other titles like breaking up with victimhood. And so we will have you back again.

Thank you so much, Darian. I appreciate it.

Thank you for joining us. And come back again in May. Forget what you need and feel good about it. Take care.

Thank you for joining me today on get what you need and feel good about it. Remember, when you speak up for your yourself assertively, you will get what you need and feel good about it. You will also be showing respect for yourself and for the other people in your life who are important to you. Until next time, try thinking about it like Stephanie Lahart says it say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean before it gets too late.

And the only way to do this

is with hope not hate. Yes, the only way to do this

is with hope, not hate.